Saturday, February 25, 2012

Trying to Conceive

Trying to get pregnant is horrible.  Getting pregnant is great...usually.  I think.  I've only done it once but I was pretty pleased about it.  My first pregnancy was a "happy accident", although you can't really consider it an accident I guess if you do nothing to prevent it from happening.  It just wasn't entirely planned, or thought out.  

This past November I missed taking a few of my birth control pills and warned my husband accordingly.  Again, we did nothing to prevent pregnancy.  When the time came, and I realized I was not pregnant and also pretty disappointed about it, the discussion began.  It wasn't much of a discussion really, I just told my husband I was ready and he was okay with it.  We knew all along that we wanted our little ones pretty close in age.  I thought we would wait until the end of this coming summer to try again so that I wouldn't have to endure pregnancy in the stifling heat of summertime.  But I knew I was ready.  

I am not trying to complain about the fact that it's three months later and we have had no success yet.  I know that's not a long time in the grand scheme of things, and that there are so many devastated people out there just waiting for their day, for their chance to hold their new baby in their arms, and that have endured so much pain in their journey.  What I'm saying is that all things are relative.  In my world, it feels like forever.  

I spend the second half of my life trying NOT to get pregnant.  Naturally, I assumed that if I actually tried it would be easy.  I am a classic over-thinker (thanks Mom).  I like to think every single tiny thing that happens in or near my body is an indicator that I am pregnant.  I also like to waste lots of money on home pregnancy tests and take them too early.  

I am nearing that time again.  Emotions are in high gear and I just have to wait.   Fingers are crossed.  


What's your conception story?  Did you have to try for a while, or are you trying now?  


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