I present this question as food for thought, not as a judgement of any family's decision or ability to take part in either lifestyle. I question myself sometimes. Would I be a complete wreck if I was a stay at home mom? (the term I much prefer, by the way). Would my son be better off? I try and offer myself justification that he is better off as things are, with him going to daycare for about eight hours a day from Monday through Friday as a way to cope with it being something I just can't change. I try. I ask my husband probably on a weekly basis if I can quit my job yet. To be clear, I have no problem working, and consider myself to be a fantastic employee. I do see benefit in growing my career, I have a pension that I don't even have to contribute to, which is virtually unheard of these days. I provide my family with health insurance, which I used today, actually. None of this makes me miss my son any less.
Am I a good mom? I think so. It's hard to say that, with all the doubt you are filled with as a parent. But I know I would literally walk barefoot to the end of the earth for my child if there was some absurd need for me to do so. I am often brought to tears just by the thought of how intense the love I have for him is. I will make every effort to do the absolute best for him in any way that I can.
So an answer to this question that sometimes clouds my head in the shower, or at a stoplight in the car. Am I a part-time mom? I think not. Being a mom is inside me every minute of every day. It is a part of every decision I make and everything that I do. I may not be with my son as much as I wish I could be but he is always with me.